


redemption

by filmingloves



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Babies, Dominant Ben Solo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Force Babies (Star Wars), Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Planet Ahch-To (Star Wars), Romance, Strong Rey (Star Wars), Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27343903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filmingloves/pseuds/filmingloves
Summary: He waits at the edge of a precipice, teetering to his inevitable fall down the dark, open chasm where he knows is his freedom by death. He counts on Leia to make it a quick, painless one. That much he can ask from her, if he is even allowed to.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	redemption

He waits at the edge of a precipice, teetering to his inevitable fall down the dark, open chasm where he knows is his freedom by death. He counts on Leia to make it a quick, painless one. That much he can ask from her, if he is even allowed to. 

And then.

“Ben Organa Solo... is pardoned by the Resistance board due to the causes including but not...”

He stops listening after that.

It is redemption.

It makes him furious, so _fucking_ mad, because—because he doesn’t deserve it.

Ignoring the startled gasps in the audience and abrupt pause from the speaker issuing his pardon from the board, Ben stands, walking briskly out of the meeting hall.

He can feel that familiar presence start to reach towards him, but he ignores it. It is laughable to think that Rey thinks of him in any way more than a nuisance. He has nothing.

He feels like nothing.

Ben starts jogging. He isn’t sure how to do this. As someone who’s never seriously tried to kill himself before, Ben finds himself stuck and a bit confused. 

He wants it to be fast. Well, preferably.

Hmmm.

And also, he wants—

“BEN.”

“Be quiet,” He tells the voice in his head, which is, interestingly, feminine and higher—

Small arms wrap around his back like a vise, keeping him in place. 

Oh, fuck. Not a voice in his head.

The even tinier hands, which are now digging lightly into his hip bones—it’s Rey.

Ben can practically hear the immense fury emanating from her. _Fuck_. 

The best and worst part of a Force bond is that they know what the other is thinking.

“Okay. Okay, here’s what’s going to happen,” she begins, her grip on him shaking as she trembles with restrained emotion. “We are taking the Falcon for a trip. I’m going to fly us to Ahch-To while you sit in the cockpit and think about all the pain you’re causing me, and how you’ve earned absolutely no time to be by yourself for the next six months.”

She doesn’t understand. How could she? She’s practically an angel when put next to his deep and unredeemable crimes.

“Rey—” He makes a feeble attempt to extricate himself and she practically hisses in warning as she grips him tighter.

“No.” She grits her teeth. “You are to stay silent until I get you in that aircraft, safe next to me. We’re going to visit your mother, and then after we land at Ahch-To, I’m finding somewhere nice and green for us to settle down, where I will have my first family. Then we will have our babies, I’m thinking two, or three. And I will heal you so you never think about something like this again.”

He can barely breathe. 

Such happiness, is what Rey is offering him. He— he doesn’t deserve it, she can’t mean it— this is heaven, she doesn’t want him like that—

This isn’t happening. 

He has to be imagining this, there is no way the real Rey would say something like this.

He twists out of the ghost of his insane mind’s grasp, and tries to make another run for it, when she jumps onto his back, hooking her legs around his waist.

The now apparently not so imaginary Rey nips into his neck, and he stills, letting out an embarrassingly loud groan.

Okay, so maybe he wasn’t imagining this.

“ _Fuck_ , baby, what are you doing here?” He growls as she continues to bite gently. “You’re supposed to be with the rest of the board, getting ready to go back to the Senator’s—“

Rey ignores him. “You try to run from me again and your punishment will be worse, Ben.” She blinks frantically, trying to hold back tears, as he turns her in his arms so that he can see her. “You… how could you even… even _think_ of doing something like that, _Ben_ , I—”

“You don’t understand,” He tries to say coldly. Shivering a little, he opens his mouth to continue until he sees the broken look on her face. 

“You were going to leave me,” She sobs, stumbling over her words. “You were, but that’s not why I’m sad… I always knew you would leave me someday, so that wasn’t a surprise. It’s _not_ why I’m sad.”

“Are you being serious—“ He tries but she shuts him up with a heated glare.

Something is starting to glow within him.

“I’m,” She chokes, “I’m— _Kriff_. I’m _sad_ because you feel like you deserve to die. You don’t, Ben, you deserve happiness. All the happiness in the world.

“And I— oh.” Rey pauses, looking horrified suddenly, like she’s realized something devastating. Her face falls and she tries to school her expression into a more nonchalant look.

“You don’t have to be happy with me,” She says quietly. “I know that was presumptuous. I— it’s okay if you have someone else, we don’t have to have babies. I just— I meant that I wanted you to be happy—“

She squeals as he hauls her into his chest and starts walking towards the Falcon’s base, shaking his head, and feeling like he’s been given a second chance from his beloved.

Rey peers up at him, adorably confused, and reaches for his neck. He tries his best to smile to show her everything’s okay, and places her hands on his nape.

As he picks up the pace with Rey in his arms, he senses something that makes his hairs stand on end in cold fury. There’s a group of drunk, middle aged leering at her, and he can see their thoughts.

He’s never liked other men… _looking at her._

Sensing the direction of his thoughts, Rey has to squeeze his hand tightly so that he doesn’t instantly chokehold them to death with a flick of his hand.

A muscle twitches in his jaw, and he gathers her closer to his chest, hiding her from view.

“Ben? Ben. Where are you taking me? Did… did you hear what I said? I said, it’s okay if, if—”

He shushes her, gently, not stopping to talk until they are both safely at the Falcon.

“We’re going to try making some of those babies you seem to want so much, sweetheart,” He says, grinning wolfishly down at her. He opens the door to the cockpit with one hand, settling her down in his lap when he sits down with the other.

She squeezes her eyes shut, cuddling closer to his heart, humming in satisfaction of the sudden warmth. “You mean... you don’t have anyone else, then, Ben?”

This kriffing woman. It’s all he can do not to scream at her.

“I spend my waking days thinking about you. I go to sleep and all I can dream of is you. Fucking _look_ at the mess you make of me, darling,” He says hoarsely. 

Then he sighs. 

“I know… I know I’m not a good man. But I’ll do anything for you, baby. I’ll give you everything. Anything. If you want me.”

She slowly grins, her expression looking like he’s just given her the only thing she’s ever wanted. 

It emboldens him. 

“Do you… Rey. Do you want me? Please tell the truth. Because I will spend the rest of my life trying to convince you that I will never leave you. Because— because I don’t think I’d ever be able to let you go if you say you want me.” 

A few terrifying seconds pass. Then she kisses him, gently, on the forehead.”Yes.”

“Yes?” 

He can barely believe it, what is happening, he— he can’t help himself, so: “Yes to…yes to the babies, too? What number did you say you wanted, was it five—?”

“Ben!” She admonishes, turning bright pink. “It was _two._ Or— or three, if you behave yourself.”

“I don’t think I’d want to behave myself if we want to get pregnant a third time, Rey.”

He rejoices at her half delighted, half scandalized face, and lets out a satisfied rumble of her name as she hides her flaming face in his chest.

  
  
  



End file.
